


"Magnus, tell me how to fix this"

by twoheartedslytherin



Series: Extended Scenes - Malec One Shots [5]
Category: Shadowhunters (TV), The Shadowhunter Chronicles - All Media Types
Genre: Canon Compliant, Communication, Emotional Hurt/Comfort, Extended Scene, Healthy Relationships, M/M, Malec, mentions of torture
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-11-06
Updated: 2018-11-06
Packaged: 2019-08-19 14:27:39
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,023
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/16536341
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/twoheartedslytherin/pseuds/twoheartedslytherin
Summary: “Magnus, tell me how to fix this”, Alec said as Magnus started to shake his head. "Just… tell me what to do. Please”.Magnus looked at him with centuries worth of sadness in his eyes, breaking the Shadowhunter’s heart into a million pieces.Extended scene from 2x12





	"Magnus, tell me how to fix this"

**Author's Note:**

> So this one was a bit angsty, I guess. I wasn't going to write an extension to this scene because this episode is particularly difficult for me to watch, but I think they needed to have this conversation. But they are soft and sweet, as always. 
> 
> I wrote this focusing on Alec since it was never discussed on the show and I felt like he had some explaining to do. I thought Magnus wouldn't have wanted to talk about what he went through that same night since it was too recent and he tends to put on walls to protect himself, as it is seen in the next couple of episodes. And the scene from 2x15 when he finally talks about it, in my opinion, is brilliantly written and acted, so I kinda didn't want to get in the way of it.  
> Anyways, hope you enjoy :)

“Magnus, tell me how to fix this”, Alec said as Magnus started to shake his head. "Just… tell me what to do. Please”. Magnus looked at him with centuries worth of sadness in his eyes, breaking the Shadowhunter’s heart into a million pieces.

“Alec” the warlock said quietly, noticing his boyfriend shrugging uncomfortably at not being called _Alexander_. But he needed to distance himself from Alexander and talk to Alec _the Shadowhunter_ , who apparently still tried to follow The Clave without question. 

“I know this wasn’t just any criminal you were dealing with, this was Valentine. It must have sounded insane coming from his lips that it was me. And finding out where he hid the Mortal Cup is a priority right now, but…” he sighed, not being able to finish his sentence.

Alec closed his eyes, trying to fight the tears. He took a deep breath, and started talking, not daring to look at Magnus yet.

“Back when you saved Izzy from being deruned I… Magnus, I was so ashamed. I almost agreed into letting The Clave torture Meliorn because I couldn’t deal with everything changing, with everyone knowing about… me. I followed the rules my entire life because I thought it was all I had. I couldn’t accept how wrong it is. But then _you_ happened. And when I… when Jocelyn died… I realized even harder that this world isn't black and white, no matter how much The Clave says it is. I vowed to myself that I would never be like that again. But today…” tears were now streaming down his face. He looked up at Magnus, the warlock staring at him with an inscrutable look on his face. 

“We weren’t dealing with a rogue Downworlder or a demon today. Valentine _is_ a Shadowhunter. One of our own. And he’s done so many despicable things… the truth is I didn’t care what would happen to him. And then you told me it was you. I knew something was off- when I went looking for you earlier you were acting- I mean, he…” he sighed, frustrated. A wave of anger came over Magnus as he imagined Valentine pretending to be him, lying to Alec and who knows who else in his own home. He only hoped he wouldn't have to do too much damage control, but he couldn't think about that right now. The Shadowhunter continued.

“Jace told me not to fall for Valentine’s lies, and I told myself he was right, but… I still _knew_ something was wrong. And I didn't- I didn’t do anything. I’m so sorry, Magnus”.

Magnus’ face softened, though hurt still shadowed his eyes. It’d be easy to be mad at Alec, but he knew the situation was far more complex than that.

“Hey”, the warlock held Alec's hand gently. “This was Azazel and Valentine’s doing. I don’t blame you, I get it. And you’re not a bad person for wanting someone who’s caused so much pain to suffer. After everything that’s happened, I want him to suffer too. This has nothing to do with you or what almost happened to Meliorn. Valentine is far from being an innocent. He _deserves_ to be punished”, he added bitterly. He looked up at Alec, guilt still covering his features.

"I… I’m not going to lie, Alexander. Having you looking at me with so much hate and gagging me under Imogen’s orders was… unbearable. But I-I  _know_ it was not aimed at me. You would never do that to an innocent. And nothing will ever compare to the relief I felt when you stopped her. And as much as I’d want to, I can't blame her, either. Valentine is the reason her son is dead, the reason why thousands of both Shadowhunters and Downworlders are dead. This was an impossible situation. And I know it’s gonna take a while for The Clave to change their justice system. Fighting violence with violence has always been easy for them. And with scum like Valentine... well, it's tempting, to say the least. But this is not on you. I’m not mad at you, nor would I ever be mad at you over this. I’m just…it’s been a long day”.

He took a deep breath. He let Alec cup his face, his boyfriend smiling shyly at him. He reached for Alec's hand, rubbing his thumb against the soft skin. He saw concern in the Shadowhunter’s eyes and sensed Alec was about to ask him more about what he’d just went through. He immediately started talking before his boyfriend had the chance.

“Follow your gut, Alexander. You’re a leader, I know you will do things right. You now know there’s always a different, better way”.

Alec nodded nervously, letting out a deep breath.

“I love you so much, Magnus”.

“I love you too, Alexander”.

He leaned against the Shadowhunter’s forehead, closing his eyes. He wished they could stay like that forever.

“Do you want me to stay?” Alec asked tentatively.

Magnus was tempted for a moment. He’d love nothing more than to cuddle with Alec, feel the reassuring warmth of his skin against his, listening to his breath (and occasional snores) as he sleeps next to him, like a lullaby. But his wounds were still too fresh. Centuries worth of baggage was too much for his boyfriend to understand, at least for now.

“I think I just want to be alone for a while if you don’t mind”.

He knew he’d have to talk to him at some point about his past, but right now it was too much. He couldn’t bear to be vulnerable right now. He glanced at a nearby mirror and shivered, thinking he could use more eyeliner.

“Umm, yeah, of course. Call me if you need anything”.

Alec kissed him softly on the cheek. He pulled away slowly as if he were waiting for Magnus to change his mind. He finally sighed and got up when Magnus remained quiet. He turned around as he reached for the doorknob.

“Hold on to that _omamori_ , ok?” Alec said, his voice breaking slightly. Magnus gave him a small but genuine smile.

“Always”.

**Author's Note:**

> 100 kudos! What?! This is insane, thank you guys so much!


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